It is far from impossible to please everyone. You just need to know how to layer it all correctly. In the future, remember to always separate statistics and goals. A goal should be something the player is going to achieve at some point, so make them count. And statistics should be de-gamified in general. Statistics should tell you just that, the statistics. It shouldn't grade you, it shouldn't score you. If people want to be graded on it, they can grade it themselves. They can set their own goal posts and their own limitations on how they'll reach them. As for side-quests and stretch goals, people don't need them. They'll say they want them, but in the end they don't if the main goals are taxing enough (which you have to then also balance with the casuals, the hardest part of the process imo). The system in place that you have for it works perfectly, play the video game, get bits, unlock more shit with said bits. Rinse and repeat. You literally do not need more than that? You just need to refine that process and converge it in the end. Everything that can be unlocked, should be unlockable with bits, and the rest is just statistics told to you in a non-judgmental way, inviting the player to impose their own judgement as they see fit. That way, no matter how you play the game, you will eventually finish it, and you will please everyone. The people who want to 100% will get there overtime, the ball-busters who love to shank themselves can aim for their own insane scores, the casuals will still cross the finish line at a comfortable speed, and the virtual crack cocaine addicts (the idiots who want achievements and challenges and 500 billion collectibles) can go die in a ditch, they genuinely don't deserve access to the internet. :P
I can go into great detail on the things that could be added that I promise people would enjoy if you'd like?