Overall I think you did a fine job & this is certainly usable for a one-shot. I love the idea behind stuff like "Yor: The Hunter from the Future" & I think this could work well for a campaign in a setting like that.
The good
- I liked that you included a print-friendly version... I should probably do that with my own adventure.
- I love the vibes for the setting & the initial premise.
- Descriptions are short & to the point.
- The contents of the dungeon support your theme very well
Room for improvement
- The print friendly version is missing bullet points
- Maybe a bit more spacing between lines? Bullet points help, but even so its a bit scrunched up
- The connection to areas 4-6 is a bit unclear. The map makes it look like there are 3 blast doors to each of the rooms, but then the arrow makes it seem they connect to a hallway that connects the areas. The hand-print scanner is also I think important enough to include in a room's description. I would redraw the map a bit & have the doors+scanner be in area 1.
- Maybe add a bit more activity into the random encounters. "Cobras drop from the ceiling" works but "Deaf gorilla fighting a mind-controlled Gorilla" could eventually offer more intrigue into the nature of the apes.
- Maybe add references to the SD rule core page number for the monsters?
- Differentiating public & private information more clearly would do wonders for the layout. What do italics mean? Much of the bolded text doesn't seem to have a reason either.
- Missing a danger level, which I think is a requirement for a Shadowdark dungeon crawl.
- The "New Items" header is in a weird place.
- Clear rules for using the Eye of Zarum would be nice. I think its very reasonable to assume a player will try to steal it & maybe use it in the boss fight to take control of the gorillas. If the intention was to not allow this, I would not include it in the "New Items" section.