Really wonderful characterization. It's great how much backstory and intrigue you're able to get out of what's barely more than a grunt from some of the Fact's crew. I'd be eager to read more of this.
The only criticism I really see is that some of your similes are a bit labored; I don't think I can really imagine the way a punched lung drifts, or how a bruise squats. You get way more punch out of your excellent dialogue, I think.