This story is amazing!
At first I thought it was going to be just another isekai story then it turned into a cultivation story, I've seen enough of those that I was prepared for something else entirely. I am very impressed with the direction you are taking it but please, go easier on our poor hearts. My soul was NOT prepared for the end.
Please keep up the awesome story.
Just want to give praise where praise is due and what is now only 1 Critique:
Praise:
Simply your dark moments are wonderfully dark and your light funny moments are really fun.
Even for how little we see Lillith had me feeling like I, myself, wanted to leave that situation. She was written so... menacingly, I loved it.
The slapstick and sit comedy are top tier. The girls getting stuck before the swimming competition had me laughing way too hard. Peak!
So far every character has been enjoyable. The heavy moments are written really well and the mc has a wonderfully relatable attitude.
How he handles Neeta is amazing and you even had the option to ask her about her quirkiness without prejudice. Perfect.
I really appreciated how his relationship with Cadence got brought up at the party. I was hoping for that to happen at some point. I was wondering when or even if this was going to happen and it made me really happy that it was handled perfectly.
Critique time:
The "Substance" use by the boys at the party was not what i would personally consider comedy. Them going to sleep at the party was a good use of situational comedy but there are better ways for them to wake up that would have been significantly more classy and comical. Such as having Miya scolding them or promising to sweet talk a woman of their choosing at the party only to not do so later, since they fell asleep. Doing lines... not really funny and HIGHLY out of place for the scene.
On the flip side if you really want to keep that their wake up method then have a room in the mansion where people WERE doing lines and they quickly ran there to do some to wake up. That would have been more appropriate for the venue that they are in. During a party like THAT I can't see anyone overlooking that kind of drug use. Had this scene taken place during a frat party this wouldn't feel so out of place.
All your other comedy felt like it was appropriate for the place and made sense for scenes they were in.
Conclusion:
I really like the story you have going. Your use of Sit-com and Slapstick are PEAK. Your use of word play is really top notch. The "Developer" moments are handled really well. I really enjoyed what you have so far as a whole. My critique is my ONLY real critique of what you have made. Keep up the good work.
I too have issues with some of these sex scene placements. Like the mood is all "I am in a rush and can't be distracted" and then next thing you know there is a sex scene before you are done. WHAT?! No, sex can wait, this thing needs to be done now!
Yeah these black screens are really bad. There is a good story telling rule that IS NOT being followed with them:
"Show. Don't tell."
Show us what is happening instead of telling us.
"System Prompt Addition is best used on rules/info that need to always be active. (As for the overload thing, it just means that AI loaded the world as if it was a blank slate)"
Thats why i am trying to put things like how to treat pain and pleasure in the dictionary.
Edit: You say "key word" is that the title of the dictionary entry? Or do i have to put that into the definition? Do i have to use an asterisk or quotation marks when using world rules or prompts to ensure its a keyword?
so then for me, i have an entry called "Pain Scale" that defines how much pain a character feels on a scale from 1 - 10 and defines what actions cause pain. I would then have to define these actions in the dictionary as well and have them call to the "Pain Scale" entry to use it every time those actions are taken?
Trying to add stats with a max threshold of 100 and certain events can increase or decrease these stats. This part works fine, however, for some reason the max threshold keeps increasing. Is there a way to prevent the max threshold from increasing? I used the AI I downloaded to give me scales for the game to use with these stats, but would rather human insight this time.
