I really liked the message of the game, it did give me some spooks haha, the sounds in the basement. I felt the 3D model of the MC, was a little jarring compared to the traditional RPGMaker artstyle of her house. She did give me some uncanny valley vibes. There were some technical issues with the lighting and mapping, things being transparent or only half lit up, but I'm surprised with the complexity of your game with such a short time limit. The grammar was on and off, the long detailed paragraphs about objects in her life had perfect grammar, and other sections of normal dialogue lacked periods or had jarring spelling mistakes (such as the credits). It kind of threw off the immersion. I'm not sure if those longer paragraphs were AI-generated or had Grammarly gone through it, but it felt different than the rest of the game. If I were to give one critique it would be to make it more consistent, whether artstyle or grammar, because I believe your game idea is really strong and can be built upon to be a powerful message. Definitely a creative idea and your game is strong in the technical department, really good work for the time limit!
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Thanks for the feedback! I really appreciate it. I'm putting together a list of the bugs and suggestions to fix after the jam. The typos in the text are because I didn't have time to proof it :( the long form I had in a Google doc I could proof read and batch import. But everything else was just typed in ad-hoc. Not sure how to proof that without editing every event! How do you handle the proofing of dialog?
No, that makes sense! A lot of it is correct. With my game I used voice acting so I was able to iron out grammar, and I've also been proofreading others papers in high school and college for years. You do have a lot of dialogue, so your best bet when you work the game in the future would be to go through each event to make sure things are in line. It might take a day, but making sure everything is consistent and changing things to match the story will make it that much more impactful. I would also fix the credits, that's where I noticed the most spelling errors! I thought your story was strong, just those little touches add a lot!