Thanks for the feedback! I really appreciate it. I'm putting together a list of the bugs and suggestions to fix after the jam. The typos in the text are because I didn't have time to proof it :( the long form I had in a Google doc I could proof read and batch import. But everything else was just typed in ad-hoc. Not sure how to proof that without editing every event! How do you handle the proofing of dialog?
No, that makes sense! A lot of it is correct. With my game I used voice acting so I was able to iron out grammar, and I've also been proofreading others papers in high school and college for years. You do have a lot of dialogue, so your best bet when you work the game in the future would be to go through each event to make sure things are in line. It might take a day, but making sure everything is consistent and changing things to match the story will make it that much more impactful. I would also fix the credits, that's where I noticed the most spelling errors! I thought your story was strong, just those little touches add a lot!